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Your Childhood Essay

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The Child In Me - Essay About Childhood - With A Free Essay Review




What was my childhood? Nothing but more than a vague memory so distant yet so close. Truly a magnificent part of me yet so abstract that I see myself bewildered by it. All that which I cherished and that which I devoted my body and soul is a vivid memory which I prey never to forget. That little helpless yet dreamful and hopeful child is now, nothing more than a mere stranger, a stranger that presents no similarities to the “me” of today. Sure he may have my name, but everything else is gone.

As I sit here, staring at the photo, I have come to realize that I’ve never actually taken the time to reflect upon my childhood memories, upon that which made me smile, upon that which I so truly keep within my heart. Yet more surprisingly it is to realize of how different I am today. So different that not even I can look into the picture and recognize myself within that little body. It is quite amazing to see how much the crude reality of life has changed my persona.

As I sit here, staring at the photo, I see a child full of dreams, a child filled with hope, a child full of innocence. A child who knows no limits, a child who’s only and most divine power lies within his imagination, because with it he is unstoppable. A child who was free from evil, free like a bird dashing through the sky. A child who knew nothing except to smile, a child so ignorant, yet so pure. A child who is long gone and whose dreams have vanished into an immense abyss of desolation.

Childhood is the most pleasant time of our life, a time were nothing matters, a time of fun. Yet, as I sit here, staring at my childhood, I wonder why I’ve changed so much? Why do we grow old and become strangers to that little kid we once were? Why do we think that just because we are no longer kids, our hopes and dreams have to be forgotten? Why do we see our childhood as a vague and distant memory? I know that the world is not fair and it might seem impossible at times, but one thing I do remember about my childhood is that I never gave up, I never stopped trying. We must never surrender because then we will lose not only our childhood but we will lose ourselves.

I know my childhood will never come back but the child in me will never go.

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ESSAY REVIEW

You begin by claiming that your childhood is nothing but a vague memory. A couple of sentences later, the memory of your childhood is vivid. A couple of paragraphs later you seem to be able to see in your former self's very soul. If you want to claim you know something about the child you were, you might need to start the essay differently. But instead of revising the first couple of sentences, I think what you really need to do is start over.

Perhaps some of the sentimental vision of childhood in your third paragraph is salvageable, though that vision does make me question your memory. The validity of some of your assertions probably depends on the age of the child you are looking at in your photo, and it surely depends on whatever was the unique character of your childhood, but I would find the whole thing a bit more compelling if it contained a little blood and tears and anger and despair and a moment or two of wonderfully intense hatred and the all too frequent realization that whatever day it happens to be, it's the worst day ever!

What's better about the third paragraph than most of the rest of the essay, however, is that there you are at least trying to say something about the nature of your childhood. It's all a bit banal, but it's not as vague as the first two paragraphs, which I think essentially communicate only one substantial idea: the idea that you are different from the child you were. Since I don't know anything about the you of today, however, the difference between the two of you is altogether unclear, unless you want me to deduce that since the child was pure and good, you are now impure and evil. That would be interesting, I suppose, but it's not really compatible with the other elements of your self-portrait. You fourth paragraph also adds little to the picture since it is dominated by questions which you don't try to answer.

If you want to talk about that difference, then, you need to clarify what you were like as a kid and what you are like now. If you do that concretely, with the help of examples of things that you used to do instead of with platitudes, and if you look at your past with a dispassionate gaze, instead of getting breathless in the face of the wonder of it all - if you do it seriously, in other words - you should be able to produce an essay that will have been worth the trouble.

Best, EJ.

P.S. You use the expression “as I sit here, starting” at least two times too many.

Submitted by: BestOfAllTimes

Tagged...essay review and revision, essay writing help



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About BestOfAllTimes




Dear Sitifatimahmurtaza,

Avoid using "as" : use "because".

Here is my edition of your essay. These are only suggestions. Organization, however, is important - like when you speak of your grandfather, his plants and his trees. These thoughts belong together. Hope this helps. John

I still remember (still have) many wonderful memories from when I was young. From the age of eight I lived with my grandparents because my parents were busy with their business. My grandparents (what about saying We all ?) lived in a beautiful, colourful, wooden five-room house. The front lawn was kept clean and bare. At the back, though, my grandmother had planted a number of vegetables for our consumption. There was also a chicken coop and a barn for the cows. My growing up years were often spent playing and exploring. I used to play soldiers, police and thief (native speakers would say "cops and robbers"), and hide and seek with my playmates all around grandfather's land. My grandfather taught me about plants and how to look after them. He also planted many kinds of fruit trees such as rambutan,papaya,durian,mangosteen and guava. My favourite was a rambutan tree which grew to look like a giant. My grandmother was a good cook and I remember hanging around the kitchen to help. I really enjoyed making 'kuih baulu' and frying the 'roti canai'. Back then, we seldom watched television because we were just busy having fun and doing other things. I really had a great time staying (living) with my grandparents. I used to wish that those moments would never end (would last forever). I will always cherish those beautiful memories of my childhood.

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